[-Sunday, January 07, 2007-]
I'll see you all on the other side
Well. its been a year. Its been a good year but I hafta tell you good people something. I'm leaving.
Yep. End of blog, end of catfood, end of everyfing here. Can't be bothered.
It's not that I dont like it here its just..well...okay being honest me and daddy just spent the ENTIRE weekend without food or drink or anything cause we've been making a website and thats where i'm gonna live from now on.
So if you wanna come play there theres a forum and polls and a whole heap of new stuff that blogger just wouldnt put up with....nasty skuzzy fake fruit.... It was good but I think that this new place could be someplace really special especially if my friends come and play there with me. Blogger seems to realy be wanting me to get a google account and do all this new stuff and I dont want to do it so we're doing something else instead kay.
So without further ado I invite you all to.......
IKKLESPACE
You dont have to join to see the blog but the if you want to see things like nappy reviews and the Ab stuff not to mention become a member of the forum part then yoo kinda hafta register. but its not compusory and doent cost anything fi you do kay.
Maybe see you there and if not then haf fun and stay safe
BYEEE
Slimming Sammy || 6:33 PM
2 comments:
By 
at 8:33 PM
Sigh.....I feel sad.
I feel really, really very sad. I loved this blog Sammy. I loved it like lots and lots and lots. I met friends here, found a bit aboot myself through this site, helped me loads when I was really down as well. Yep, yep I won't forget the majik here. Never, ever.
Made me really sooper laugh as well and made me really sad sometimes. Really sad and even angry sometimes. Yeah even like angry - pretty ace for a blog to do all that.
Yep, yep I feel really sad saying goodbye to this space. Really, really sad. Goodbye blog I loved ya loads and loads and loads. Thanks for everything yoo been sooper brilliant ace, ace. Best blog yoo could ever be. ever, ever.
Sigh.....for last time ever Kay. Will miss yoo. Biggest hug ever. Yoo been like a majikal place.
Kay Bye.................BYE!
Jane
By at 9:49 PM
Yeah I am glad yoo moved buttercup. It is kinda lonely here now....
--------[-Saturday, January 06, 2007-]
You know. I'm feeling much better today. the past couple of days i've been feeling really lousey for...well read previous post for details. I took yesterday off work too but instead of moping around I learnt a whole heap of japanese so at least I did something productive right?
I talked to a couple of friends about what was going on and obviously I talked to daddy on the night it happened and I even got a really lovely email from a friend saying she'd been through the same sort of stuff. everyone has been really good to me and supportive and it really has helped a tonne and a half.
If she wants to be bitter and angry then thats her choice I guess. i cant change her personality and if she wants to just dwell on negative things then thats really sad but her decision. One of my friends said its easier to dwell on the hurtful stuff than remember the good stuff, thats probably true huh. Again thats quite sad though.
Its really dissapointing that things have happened the way they have between me and her but like everyone has said just because of the actions of one person that shouldnt be the reason why I dont trust anyone else. Also I have so much to look forward to I shouldnt be feeling depressed. Next weekend there a pantomime and a meal and another meal to go to, the weekend after that I'm up seeing my folks and having a second xmas and then the weekend after that Im at camp having a third xmas. Things cant be bad if a girl can have 3 christmasses although that does sound a little greedy huh.
But yeah. Tonnes of stuff to get excited about, not to mention japanese classes start on thursday and drivings been going pretty well. I'm a bit worried actually caus I just got course infromation through about the japanese course I signed up for and it turns out you kinda need to know some japanese first. its just as well ive been teaching myself a little bit so mebbe i'll beable to muddle through either that or im gonna feel like a right plonker on thursday sitting there with everything going over my head, but the course is non refundable so I may as well give it a shot.
taking down the tree today, should have been done yesterday but couldnt be bothered.
Im sure there was something important I was gonna say. I cant remember. Ive kinda woken up a little odd cause I had this strange dream which mixed pirates of the carribean with legend of zelda windwaker. Very odd Im not gonna go into details cause that would take forever to expain the plot and suchlike. I never have dull dreams its always full blown movie type escapades but they just dont make alot of sense, Well I just dont make alot of sense ever anyway.
but no matter what happens in my life, its important to hold onto my dreams (although not ones about pirates of the caribbean and zelda) and to be true to who I am. So long as I try my best at everything and anything then if stuff does go wrong I can know that i tried as hard as I could. I gave it my all
Slimming Sammy || 9:18 AM
1 comments:
By 
Boy Ricky at 6:18 AM
Hi
I just found your site. Hope is important. Lots of people write my daddy and me because of our blog lots are sad and lots are happy. Some are sad cause they say why can't i have that instead of looking for a way to get it! Keep the faith!
blog
[-Thursday, January 04, 2007-]
Staring at the blank screen for ages, not knowing how to say what I want to say....
life sometimes really hurts. you think you're over something and then find out that actually no. I feel like I have to pretend to be strong but im not pretending very well at the moment. I had to take the afternoon off actually cause I just couldnt face work. the monotony of what I was doing gave me too much time to think about things and so I got myself in a bad state.
Let me explain. last night I got an email from louise (for anyone who doesnt know she was my mummy for 5 years and my best friend for 12, things went pear shaped between us in 2005 and as a result I ended up living with daddy) Anyway I got an email from her last night quoting an email i sent her in december 2005 saying how I had promised to pay her back money that I had borrowed and so last nights email was her cashing in on that. In fairness I had completely forgotten about it due to the fact that she never replied to my emails and suchlike so I assumed she just wanted nothing to do with me anymore, and the fact she had also left me with more than my fair share of a 3,500 pound credit card bill to pay I kinda assumed she had just called all that quits. but apparently no. So that was sad in a really dissapointing way, but I paid the 200 pounds she was demanding through paypal. now she really does have nothing she can hold against me whatsoever. I've given her everything she could possibly ask for. But the fact that in her email she said horrible things like I never keep my promises and that The things I have done since we broke up have proven to her that i'm not a person she wants to be around. these things she said really really hurt me.
They're not from the louise I used to know they're not from the one I considered my soulmate and that makes me feel so sad.
Someone I trusted and loved with all of my heart and all of sammys heart it makes my whole foundation feel hollow.
I believe that you should live by a certain code, always try and be true to yourself to be kind to others do you upmost best to keep any promises made, and well...I guess its an old fashioned way of thinking, but I believe I have always acted with kindness and understanding. I dont know if thats me being niave. I mean if I was mean I could do all sorts of things. post up that post I took down with real names and addresses for example. email certain individuals directly with information they didnt know. I'm not mean though. I keep secrets people tell me. I keep my mouth shut if I cant say nice things. But why? I mean being good. it's never gotten me anywhere. People say they love me and they'll never fall out with me or we'll always make up and talk if we do fall out so we can fix the problem. but thats the sorta stuff louise used to say and now shes really very much the opposite. Even to the point of if we ever bump into one another shes said she'll just completely blank me. I think i'd be too scared to go up to her anyway. i dont think i'd be able to handle being blanked by her in person. That would just be too cruel
Daddy says I cant not trust people just because of a couple of people have hurt me in this way, but im scared. I thought I was over all this. i care about louise I truely do. I always have done and always will do, But I just dont understand. I honest to god really am getting to the point of being at my wits end about all this. I cant put it right and probably will never be able to. A friend at work has told me to block her email address and such so she cant contact me, but a sliver of optimism in all this still believes that one day she'll suddenly realise what a stupidhead shes been being and will come round and email me.
She seems so full of hate and bitter about stuff and that really depresses me. I remember when people used to upset her or make her angry she would just block them entirely from her life and just focus on their bad points and to be honest im afraid that thats what shes done with me. All the fun times we've had are suddenly non existant and so she can only dwell on the arguments and the mistakes I made.
I mean I made mistakes, im not perfect, i've never pretended to be but she made mistakes too right? i'm not the only one at fault. she had an equal share in the downfall yet when she emails me it comes across as though im the only one at fault. I said wrong things at the wrong time and if I could I would take them back, but life doesnt work like that. But to not even give me a second chance. Was I just fooling myself. She was my soulmate but to discard me so easily maybe I wasnt hers.
Daddy says he loves me, will the same thing happen between me and him? I cant possibly know that, he can reassure me all he wants but in the end noone can predict the future. So I hafta think for myself. I have to find security from somewhere in all this reestablish that faith in people as a whole that they wont hurt me in the hateful ways that louise recently has done, but at the moment i'm just feeling lost....and cold.
Slimming Sammy || 4:19 PM
2 comments:
By at 7:46 PM
Dont feel sad Sammy yoo are a relly good person and no way yoo can change the world we live in - it is just really tuff sometimes yoo know, relly, relly tuff. Stick with yoor Daddy, only do good and live yoor life to the full and if yoo get hurt along the way yoo will appreciate the good times even more. Yoo are rite to belive that people may change in the future though so dont blok yoor email and bee aroond if yoor ever needed peeple do silly things sometimes but if yoo jus stay tru to what yoo believe in yoo cant relly go wrong.
Hey and as a treat for yoo to cheer yoo up a bit have a go at this. Go on to yoor sooper Wii console (hug it a bit)and go to the browser kay and type in wiiarcade.com - Free games!!!!!!!! Hug to yoo.
Kay bye !
Jane
By at 8:28 PM
I'm jes a quiet reader here, but I hadda say I'm sorry you're having to go through dis. I know it makes it hard to trust when people go out an abuse your trust in the first place. The world has good peoples and bad peoples, an sometimes it's hard to tell which is which.
But it sounds like your daddy really loves you, cuz all I read in here seems to tell me he's someone who cares lots an lots for you.
[-Tuesday, January 02, 2007-]
Well A few things to report...first off today was first day back at work. It didnt drag as long as I was expecting in fact I had plenty to be getting on with so the day kinda sped past but Im very tired now.
The other thing I have to report is I signed up for japanese lessons. Instead of simply just daydreaming about doing something like that I've actually gone and done it. So Thursday the 11th is when I start and it is 2 hours a week until the end of may. Im excited but scared. im not very good at doing stuff like this by myself but I've already paid for the course so I hafta go. I already know bits and bobs of japanese. it also comes from watching too much cardcaptors sakura. today at work I was expecting people to come in saying Ohayo gozaimasu (good morning) funnily enough no one did. It reminded me of the time I played too much tony hawks pro skater on playstation and then for like a whole week I went around eyeing up the local area for things to skate on or perform tricks off of. or the time I played Grand theft auto to death and just felt really like blowing stuff up with grenade launchers and flame throwers.
Cardcaptors is ace but it puts me in a bad mood cause I soo desperately want to be magic that its just not fair that this world is boring and non magic. We need magic here people. I wanna beable to be someone magic and special. Mebbe magic does exist but we just dont know how to tap into it properly. It seems that things like elves and goblins and trolls and such like perhaps mebbe did exist a long time ago but mebbe have dissapeared now cause we're not (as a whole) very much in touch with those sorts of things anymore. I'd like to think that way at least theres hope of mebbe getting those sorts of things back again. it would be cool to suddenly wake up and find magic in the world.
Anyway i gotta go. Zelda is calling
Slimming Sammy || 5:58 PM
2 comments:
By at 10:57 PM
Hiya Sammy,
Work sucks - thats all I am gonna say aboot that.
It is relly sooper cool yoo went ahead and booked yoor Japanese lessons. I kinda think somtimes yoo wood have been happy to be born Japanese, so I fink this will help ya get to grips with wot yoo be missing out on......hey a really small bug just ran across my keybored jus now....blimey a bugs world must be relly scary, not only are yoo relly small but everyfing eats ya and yoo have no friends - is there any bug that makes freinds - ants mite be friends I suppose nah........anyhow, it is good to start the yeer as yoo meen to go on. Well done yoo yayyyyy.
Zelda rocks best ever I jus think yoo have to think like Zelda though cos yoo seem to be flying froo like at twice my speed and I seem to get stuck on relly easy bits for yoo. Mmmmm whys that? Maybe its the tortoise and the hare, yeps yeps thats it.
As for magic it does exist and yoo can find it in local woods really close. I will tell yoo aboot it next time I see yoo kay but its a real sooper secret place and a bit scary to visit (and never, ever, ever in the dark ever - sooper serious warning) so Daddy will hav to be aroond kay.
Anyway hugs to yoo
Jane
By William at 1:23 AM
Good luck with your Japanese class Sammy! My first Japanese teacher was a really nice, elderly Japanese woman. She had the demeanor of a kindergarten teacher which, I think, made everyone feel much less silly while learning things like the "alphabet," numbers, and the words for things like "cat" and "dog." My advice to you is just to practice a little every day. It won't happen quickly, but eventually you'll realize that you know a lot more Japanese than you thought you did.
Have fun with Zelda - I'm thinking real hard about getting a new gaming system myself these days...
[-Sunday, December 31, 2006-]
A long long time ago this was me. Probably between 2 and 3 mebbe a little younger but not by much, A girl, I could say with a lot of hopes and dreams and such but to be honest at that stage of life I probably believed the world was about the size of my back garden. I can remember much of that point in my life, but I was apparenty always happy and rarely cried. looking back on the pictures life always seems so sunny, but i guess you dont really take pictures of your children when they're crying or when its raining.
I just spent a pleasant lunch with daddy and one of his friends. I would like to say she is my friend too but at the moment she is more of an aquaintence as I still dont know that much about her to call her a friend but i would dearly like to beable to say she is my friend one day. We talked today about how life is what you make of it. if theres something dissapointing you in life or making you feel stressed theres not much point in just whining about it. you need to do something to improve your situation.
I have to reflect today for it seems the done thing to do on the last day of the year. to look back and assess and remember how i've gotten to the point I am at today.
This is the year I started this blog, this is also the year I went to my first camp and made so many new friends. I learnt alot about myself and about other people. I have seen so many new things and tried many new experiences like train stripping, hot air balloon riding, going to a foreign country, going to funerals, learning to drive, learning platypuses were poisonous, being promoted, flying kites, going to soft play centres, going to gigs, creating new songs. I've grown up in so many different ways, i've become more independant more balanced I feel
Some of these things will continue well into the new year and beyond, some were sad experiences or stressful experiences. Some made me cry some made me smile. its the way of life it cant all be sunny even if after a few years all you remember is the sunny stuff.
I have to look to the future now. (and the future is icecream) my dreams and aspirations for the year to come, so when it comes to this time next year I can look back and feel that either i've done rather well or i've failed miserably. Either way it will be interesting to read this at the beginning of 2008.
I hope that I shall be able to drive by this time next year. if I havent passed within the year i shall feel most dissapointed and rather ashamed of myself it shouldnt take that long surely I mean even by easter I should have driving down to a point where I can comfortably pass. I'd like to be slimmer. The temptation of pavlovas and mincepies have been too much to bear this year so i feel ive made quite a pig of myself in some cases. i think to myself that a couplle of years ago I was on that space food diet so throughtout the whole of xmas I didnt eat a single thing. That was difficult. By the end of the year I intend to be healthy, but isnt that the stereotypical new years resolution that everyone makes after too much xmas indulgance. Still a little less beer and a few more vegetables wont kill me right? (you watch im gonna choke to death on a carrot or something now that i've said that)
I want to improve myself to feel good about myself to actually achieve something and make people proud of me. I may take up learning japanese as its not too far away, I'd like to start up creative writing again to see how far that gets me. i'd love to actually get some of my songs recorded.
In regards to me and daddy, i fink we need to sit down and seriously talk about what we're gonna do and come up with a battleplan. i spend so much time when im working on a computer game leveling up characters and coming up with strategies that its ridiculous that I dont do something similar with my own life. I cant just expect it to fall into place without any hard work. Like where are we as a couple gonna be this time next year? A new job hopefully for me, mebbe a new kitchen and a new decorated house in general and if not that then perhaps even a whole new house. my credit card should be long gone by then so perhaps I can start helping with things like bils or just saving money to get stuff done. That in itself would give me confidence and allow me to feel like this is my house too.
I want to be able to feel good about myself. I want to be there more often for my friends and to make new friends along the way. I want to share my expeiences and to have people to lean on during difficult parts of the year. I want to say thankyou to those who I have spoken to this year and who have spoken to me and just generally been in my life. I feel I have learnt alot about myself this year and kinda started to properly realise that I can be who i want to be and try my hardest to acheieve the things I want in life.
I am in a near constant state of feeling loved cherished and truely blessed and while I may have had down moments in 2006 the general consensus is its been a really good year to be alive.
Slimming Sammy || 2:34 PM
1 comments:
By at 7:35 PM
This is a lovely post Sammy. I hope yoo have a wonderful 2007 and achieve all yoor goals this yeer.
Sooper Hugs Muddy
Jane
[-Saturday, December 30, 2006-]
You think looking at the title i'm talking about the whole year dont you. After all its the 30th today and so the end of the year is tomoro, but nonono thats not what im talking about at all.Cardcaptors sakura. Daddy got me all 70 episodes and a couple of movies and through a couple of days of obsessive watching theres only like 25 or so episodes left. poor daddy. I mean I love the series but Im kinda feeling the strain myself but I cant help it. I cant wait for it to get to the good stuff. So many people have told me that cardcaptor sakura is much better than the english version named cardcaptors (and in my opinion cardcaptors was ace...I even had my own set of clow cards and everything), but so far to me there hasnt been that much difference...well Im pretty sure li's infatuation with yuki was dumbed down for the uk kid audience and a few other bits but mebbe I need to wait till it starts getting deeper to notice the major differences.
But yes so now im all hyped with kero. keroberos the protector of the cards as such. Who loves sweet things I know how he feels. I have eaten so many sweet things recently that Im kinda craving things like tomatoes and cucumber and you know healthy things which is good cause come tuesday im back on a diet. im seeing my folks in a fortnights time and I wanna shift a bit of the weight ive put on since last I saw them.
I had to go to work today it wasnt too bad, but im really dreading going back to work on tuesday Ahhhhh well cant live free forever I guess. im really gonna work on getting a new job now. Im also considering strongly developing some kinda skill. what with all the anime i've watched recently I kinda wanna learn japanese again, I tried to find some photos earlier today and also found my japanese book collection so mebbe i'll start reading some of those again. or theres a class starting up relatively close to where I live on thursday nights so mebbe i'll go to that. Im having to watch money closely at the moment though, just cause what with travelling up to aberdeen on the 19th and then going to camp at teh end of the month too I hafta save money for hotels and train tickets yadda yadda yoo know what its like. january is a bleak bleak month when it comes to finances. Still my credit card is almost non existence 600 quid left on it and its bye bye. it would have been bye bye last month but driving lessons took 300 outta it so Oooh never mind. I'll get it sorted pretty soon now.
But anyway gotta go away now kay. Speak to you all 2moro
Slimming Sammy || 9:57 PM
0 comments:
[-Friday, December 29, 2006-]
Christmas has been awesome. its been so relaxed, even though we've done tonnes of stuff. me and daddy went to see rosie the other day and we had a second xmas dinner and we then played guitar hero for ages. Then we went and sorted out a little bit more of the train and said happy xmas to it, and then the next day (which was yesterday we had mel and jane over and guess what people...no seriously seriously...you hafta pay attention here. I BEAT Jane at bowling AND baseball on Wii sports.
Oooh if anyone has a Wii and yoo want me to send my Miis over to you or post a note to yoo just drop me yoor wii address and I'll send them over to play in your games. Theyre awesome I've had hours of fun making miis. last nite we didnt go to bed till 4am we went to the pub after jane and mel left then on the way back from the pub we got invited next door for a drink and then we came home and I played some guitar hero. im almost finished medium level on the career mode been playing stuff like sweet child of mine and the next song I hafta pay is jessica (you know the top gear theme tune) and its pretty difficult on easy so i wonder how hard its gonna be on medium.
But Yes...Im gonna hafta start seriously thinking about what im gonna do here on the blog for new years day. im back to work on the 2nd so im planning on having an early night on new years day. im secretly looking forward to it cause im sooo tired, but ive tried to get up at my normal time or my bodyclocks gonna be super wrong come tuesday and I really dont want that. But little kids like me shouldnt say stuff like I want to go to bed. its a rule that no matter how tired you are, no matter how much you just wish daddy will say "Right bed young lady" you hafta protest and try and convince him your not tired, and thats just silly cause ten yoo never sleep and you end up with repetitive stress injuries from playing too much fake plastic guitar.
Slimming Sammy || 11:16 AM
2 comments:
By at 6:21 PM
Yoo so did not beet me at nofink. No way! no way! I cant remember anyways. Wivout evedence who can beleeve a two yeer old yep, yep no one saw so it dont count. Thems the rules kay.
Sigh....had a good time though - I am gonna be making my awesome Mii up tommorrow and sending yoo some. They are gonnna be all over yoor Wii beeting yoo at everyfing jus yoo wait!
Cant believe yoo exageerated yoor playing skills - amazed daddy let yoo say somfink like that.
Anyhow I am not saying yoo did beet me at anyfink - no ways! - but I will be praktising so yoo get a beet next time kay even though yoo did not beet even an egg this time kay.
Competitive
Jane
By at 7:44 PM
Few days later and I am still gutted yoo (pretend) beet me - jus yoo wait samanatha yoor in so much trooble!
Anyhow I have my Mii and my Wii online so I am gonna be invading yoor Wii this week with manic Mii.
Jane
